********************************* 

Leads

The lead (beginning or introduction) establishes the direction your writing will take. A good lead grabs your reader's attention and refuses to let go.  In other words, it hooks the reader.

 

Read each of the following opening paragraphs. Evaluate the lead. Which ones do you feel are the most effective and why?

 

1. Richard Connell's story "The Most Dangerous Game," offering a tightly-knit narrative of adventure and melodramatic suspense, would seem a likely vehicle for cinematic adaptation. Of the two main characters, one is ordinary, the other bizarre. The story does not involve much complexity of consciousness; rather, it succeeds as entertainment, and it is therefore well-suited for the Hollywood treatment that was to be made within eight years of its writing. The story was first published in 1924; in 1932 it was produced as a motion picture for RKO by David.....

 

 

2. Connell's "The Most Dangerous Game" has thrilled readers since its first publication. In 1924, the year of its release, Connell was awarded the prestigious O. Henry Memorial Award for short fiction. Readers and critics alike have consistently appreciated and enjoyed this story, even as many of Connell's other stories, novels, and collections have fallen out of print. Critics initially praised the story as an excellent action-adventure tale, a tightly told story that moves quickly through a nail-biting plot. Connell has been praised for the fluidity of his simple writing style and his ability to entertain.

 

3. If you think gangsta rap, pierced navels, and pink hair are the first teenage fads ever to shock a generation of parents, think again. After World War I (1914–1918), adults took a hard look at the generation coming of age—and were frightened by what they saw. Girls called "flappers" flaunted short skirts (to the knee), short hair, and lots of makeup. Guys, known as "sheiks," wore huge, baggy pants and displayed "fast" attitudes. Jazz music was hot. Dance parties lasted late into the night. And who knew what went on after hours. "Youthful morals are being broken down," declared The Illinois Baptist magazine in 1922.

 

 

2.           

 

Marc lives in a sunny city in the southwestern United States. After sunset, though, his parents will not let him ride his bike, jog to a friend's house three streets away, or even walk his dog. Marc's parents say the neighborhood is too dark. One evening a neighbor was robbed walking home from a bus stop. She could not describe the mugger, even though street lights line every block of her route. Unfortunately, the lights are fitted with sodium-vapor lamps, and she could barely see in their dim, pinkish glow. Marc's neighbor became a victim of the near-useless lamps that her city installed. The city is required by law to combat light pollution with dimmer street lights. Actions taken by city and state legislators to prevent light pollution are well meant, but so far they cause bigger problems than they solve. Until better solutions are found, prevention of light pollution should not be required by law.

 

 

3.           

 

The poet John Donne wrote, "No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main." In terms of biodiversity (also called biological diversity), no living organism is an island. All life on earth is bound together in one interdependent system. Biodiversity refers not only to every plant, animal, and microorganism, but also, on smaller and larger scales, to their genes and to the ecosystems they form. When an individual species decreases or becomes extinct, the loss may be felt on all three levels.

 

 

4.           

 

Imagine flying at 25,000 feet in an airplane that is forty degrees below zero inside. It is so cold you have to wear a heated suit that plugs in like an electric blanket. To protect your hands from frostbite, you wear three pairs of gloves that are also heated—silk inside of wool inside of leather. You will have nothing to eat or drink during the ten-hour flight. To top it all off, your plane is being shot at because you are on a dangerous mission during wartime. You have a death-defying job to do as a crew member in a B-17G, a plane so large and powerful that it is called a "Flying Fortress."

 

 

5.           

 

Are you ready to give up your summer vacation and go to school all year? Officials in some school districts are changing the school calendar. As a result, students are attending classes during the summer and taking breaks at other times of year. As bizarre as this idea might sound, it does offer advantages. A year-round schedule reduces school overcrowding, improves teachers’ lives, and helps students learn.

 

 

6.           

 

Traveling to space in an elevator sounds like a detail from a science fiction novel, but someday it could be reality. The following article describes a new material which scientists are using to invent the foundations for an elevator to space.

 

 

7.           

 

In 1841 the British scientist Robert Owen introduced the word dinosaur into the English language by combining the Greek words for "terrible" and "lizard." He used it to describe large bone fossils that had been discovered in southern England. Before this discovery, scientists had no idea that enormous reptiles once existed. Since the nineteenth century, more than one thousand species of dinosaurs have been identified. Dinosaur fossils have been found on every continent. Yet scientists still do not know what made the dinosaurs disappear. How could such massive creatures have simply vanished from the planet?

 

 

**************************************************************************** 

Reflection: What conclusions can you draw about writing an effective lead?

 

 

 *********************************************************

Extend your Learning: Bring in two good examples of well developed leads. Be prepare to explain what makes them good leads.

 

Activities:

 

Make these beginnings into great leads.

 

1. I had a good time at the beach.
2. One day I played soccer.
3. On Thursday, I had tacos, my favorite.
4. Martin Luther King was born on January 15.
5. Connecticut is a cool state.

 

Select one of the following topics. Write a lead for it.

 

1. Write about what you think the world will be like in 100 years.

 

2. We are learning all the time. Write about something you have learned

recently and how it has affected you.

 

3. You have been asked by your principal to recommend one course which

will help you prepare for the job you want in the future. It could be a

course your school is already offering or a new course. Write an

essay to explain to your principal the course you would recommend. Be sure to give the reasons for your suggestion.

 

4. Explain the main reasons why you think students drop out of school.

 

5. Talk about your favorite music and why you like it.

 

6. Think of your favorite year in school. Explain why it was your favorite year.

 

7. Friends are important, but everyone has a different opinion of what makes a good friend. Explain what, in your opinion, makes a good friend.

 

8. Some teachers are special. Without giving any names, explain why one particular teacher in your life was special. 

 

9. If you could change one thing about your school, what would you

change? Explain why.

 

 10. We all get angry at times, but different people react in different ways. Some people show their anger openly, and some hide it within themselves. Explain and describe what you do when you get mad.

 

11. Friends sometimes experience conflicts. Explain why this happens.

 

12. If someone were new to your town, explain to him/her the highlights.

 

*********************************************************** 

Evaluate your lead:

 

How does your lead establish the direction your writing will take?

 

 

  

 

 

My thoughts about leads: How do effective leads help a writer communicate his/her message?     What do you need to do to improve on this skill in your own writing?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Patterns of Organization

 There are several ways to organize your writing. Not every pattern will work for every writer or for every piece of writing. It is important to organize the writing in an order that is interesting, but more importantly it must be logical. In other words, it has to make sense to the reader. Everything must fit together, much like the pieces of a puzzle.

The examples that follow are only a paragraph in length and only serve as short models of each pattern. However, the concept for each pattern is the same regardless of the length.

 

Chronological order is the order in which the events occurred, from first to last. This is the easiest pattern to write and to follow.

It seemed like an ordinary day when she got up that morning, but Lynda was about to embark on the worst day of her life. First, she fell in the bathtub because her mother forgot to rinse out the bath oil. Then she spilled orange juice on the outfit she had spent hours putting together for school pictures. When she changed, she messed up the French braid her mother had put in her hair. As she walked out the door, she dropped all of her school books and her math homework flew away. Once she made it to the car she thought everything would be all right. She was wrong; her father didn't look before he backed out of the driveway and ran into the neighbor’s truck. Lynda’s side of the car was damaged the most, and she ended up with a broken arm. That night, she cried herself to sleep.

 

Cause and Effect Order- In this type of order, the cause (or reason) is usually discussed first. This then leads to a discussion of the effect (or result.)

Because toys have become electronic devices, some children today are unable to entertain themselves. Gone are the days when children invented their own adventures and used sticks as swords. cookie sheets as armor, and refrigerator box as a fortress to defend. The electronic age has delivered children all sorts of gadgets and gizmos that are supposed to be realistic. Some toys even have buttons to push so prerecorded messages can be played to begin scripted adventures that require no imagination. No imagination? No wonder some children today have short attention spans.

 

Problem Solution Order- In this type of order, the problem is presented first. Details about the problem, including its cause, follows. Next, a suggested solution will be discussed, including details that support the solution.

Several students receive poor grades on writing assignments, not because they lack the ability to communicate, but because they can not seem to manage their time when it comes to a large project. They do not know where to begin, and therefore put things off until the last minute. To solve this problem, students need to develop a timeline for completing the project. If they divide the assignment into manageable “chunks” or parts and then set a schedule for completing each part, they will be able to finish the entire project before the deadline. Without the pressure of not knowing where to begin, the students will be able to focus on the assignment and communicate their ideas effectively.

 

Spatial Order-This type of organization takes the reader from one spot the next, as if the reader were looking at something. It is very descriptive.

 

I couldn’t believe my eyes when we finally emerged from the storm shelter. Where the barn once stood there was now only a few tufts of hay. The path that led to the house was scattered with branches and debris. The house! The entire roof was gone. The north wall was caved in and we could see right into the house. Well, what was left of it. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I noticed that most of our belongings had been sucked up into the great vacuum and scattered across the countryside. We heard a loud cracking and moaning as the west wall gave way and collapsed, sending up a wave of dust. And yet, there in the middle of the front yard was mother’s prized rose bush. It swayed in the breeze as if nothing had happened. Seeing it made me realize how lucky we were to be alive. We stood there in dismay, our arms locked around one another.

 

Order of Importance- This type of organization takes the reader from the least important idea to the most important idea. The ideas build in importance, holding the reader's attention. The best is saved for the last.

 

My encounter with nature became a learning experience for me. I learned to come prepared for anything. Our canoe overturning was proof that anything could happen. All of our supplies were gone. I also learned that although nature is beautiful, she can also be deadly. If it hadn’t been for the cave we discovered in the moonlight, the hail storm surely would have killed us. Most of all, I learned to trust my mother. I never thought I would say this, but she does know a thing or two. She kept her wits about her and kept me calm as well. Even in the middle of nowhere without any supplies, she still managed to take care of me. Her grandfather had taught her how to survive in the wild, and she hadn’t forgotten a thing.

 

Reverse Order of Importance- In this type of organization, the most important idea is stated first and the least important idea is stated last. This method is used most often in newspaper articles. This way if the reader does not finish the article he/she will still know the most important details. This method grabs the reader's attention in the beginning, but it does not work very will in holding the reader's attention clear to the end.

 

A plan to improve the city’s park was approved Monday night by the city council. The plan involves adding landscaping to the north end, rebuilding the bridge over the lake, and updating the playground equipment. Funds for the project have been donated by local businesses who hope that improving the park will bring more people to the downtown area which will in turn bring more customers. The next order of business is for the city council to open the bidding process for the various improvements.

 

Process Order- In this type of order, a sequence of actions is described. It instructs the reader on how to do something. It is basically a set of directions. Owner's manuals and cookbooks are organized in this pattern.

The first step in redesigning your closet is take everything out and sort through it. Anything you haven’t worn in over a year should be given to charity. Check garments for wear and tear. Take care of anything that needs mending. If it is beyond repair, get rid of it. The second step is to install a closet organizer. Choose one that will hold the different types of garments in your wardrobe. The third step is to put items in the closet so that those you wear most often are easy to access. The final step is to stay organized. Put garments back in their appropriate places so that you will be able to find them.

 

Classification Order- In this type of order, the main idea is broken down into smaller areas or classifications. Each classification is then discussed.

 

There are four basic modes of writing. Each mode may take different forms, but has a primary purpose. The first is expository writing, which has a purpose of explaining something or giving directions. Providing directions to your house is an example. The second mode is persuasive writing, which has a purpose of influencing the reader’s way of thinking. An advertisement is a an example of persuasive writing. The third mode is descriptive writing, which has a purpose of providing vivid details so that the reader can picture what is being presented. An essay that depicts the glorious Grand Canyon is an example. The fourth mode is narrative writing, which has a purpose of presenting an experience in the form of a story. A personal account of a vacation is an example of narrative writing.

 

Comparison/Contrast Order (Block)- In this pattern of organization, one item is discussed in detail before the next item is mentioned. In other words, each item gets its own "block" of space within the writing.

 

As a child, I thought my parents were ignorant and out of touch with reality. They couldn’t possible understand anything I thought or felt. When they weren’t annoying me with their ridiculous lectures, or grounding me for minor infractions of the rules, they were embarrassing me in public. As a parent, I find it frustrating that my children think I have no clue about their lives, even though I understand perfectly well what they are thinking or feeling. I find myself giving my children the same lectures I once thought were ridiculous. My children can not seem to follow the rules their father and I have set, and they are continuously embarrassing me in public. My, how things have changed.

 

Comparison/Contrast Order (point by point)- This type of order is again based on comparison (the similarities) and contrast (the differences.) Instead of being divided into parts, however, both sides of each point are discussed together.

 

Although they are sisters, Jennifer and Jessica are complete opposites. Jennifer enjoys playing sports, while Jessica would rather watch. Jennifer has no interest in playing a musical instrument, while Jessica is the first chair violinist. Jennifer listens to new age music, while Jessica prefers country. Jennifer’s favorite subject is English, and Jessica’s favorite is math. Jennifer likes to curl up in a chair on a rainy day and read a good book , but Jessica would rather sleep all day. No one would ever guess that they are actually twins.

 

***************************************************** 

Extend your Learning: Bring in examples of writing that illustrate any of these patterns of organization. Identify the pattern.

 

 

 

Using Transitions

 

Transitional devices are like bridges between parts of your paper. They are cues that help the reader to interpret ideas a paper develops. Transitional devices are words or phrases that help carry a thought from one sentence to another, from one idea to another, or from one paragraph to another. And finally, transitional devices link sentences and paragraphs together smoothly so that there are no abrupt jumps or breaks between ideas.

Good transitions can connect paragraphs and turn disconnected writing into a unified whole. Instead of treating paragraphs as separate ideas, transitions can help readers understand how paragraphs work together, reference one another, and build to a larger point. The key to producing good transitions is highlighting connections between corresponding paragraphs. By referencing in one paragraph the relevant material from previous ones, writers can develop important points for their readers.

Example: Amy Tan became a famous author after her novel, The Joy Luck Club, skyrocketed up the bestseller list. There are other things to note about Tan as well. Amy Tan also participates in the satirical garage band the Rock Bottom Remainders with Stephen King and Dave Barry.

Revision: Amy Tan became a famous author after her novel, The Joy Luck Club, skyrocketed up the bestseller list. Though her fiction is well known, her work with the satirical garage band the Rock Bottom Remainders receives far less publicity.

 

It is a good idea to continue one paragraph where another leaves off (instances where this is especially challenging may suggest that the paragraphs don't belong together at all.) Picking up key phrases from the previous paragraph and highlighting them in the next can create an obvious progression for readers. Many times, it only takes a few words to draw these connections. Instead of writing transitions that could connect any paragraph to any other paragraph, write a transition that could only connect one specific paragraph to another specific paragraph.

Here is a list of some common transitional devices that can be used to cue readers in a given way.

To Add:

and, again, and then, besides, equally important, finally, further, furthermore, nor, too, next, lastly, what's more, moreover, in addition, first (second, etc.)

To Compare:

whereas, but, yet, on the other hand, however, nevertheless, on the contrary, by comparison, where, compared to, up against, balanced against, vis a vis, but, although, conversely, meanwhile, after all, in contrast, although this may be true

To Prove:

because, for, since, for the same reason, obviously, evidently, furthermore, moreover, besides, indeed, in fact, in addition, in any case, that is

To Show Exception:

yet, still, however, nevertheless, in spite of, despite, of course, once in a while, sometimes

To Show Time:

immediately, thereafter, soon, after a few hours, finally, then, later, previously, formerly, first (second, etc.), next, and then

To Repeat:

in brief, as I have said, as I have noted, as has been noted

To Emphasize:

definitely, extremely, obviously, in fact, indeed, in any case, absolutely, positively, naturally, surprisingly, always, forever, perennially, eternally, never, emphatically, unquestionably, without a doubt, certainly, undeniably, without reservation

To Show Sequence:

first, second, third, and so forth. A, B, C, and so forth. next, then, following this, at this time, now, at this point, after, afterward, subsequently, finally, consequently, previously, before this, simultaneously, concurrently, thus, therefore, hence, next, and then, soon

To Give an Example:

for example, for instance, in this case, in another case, on this occasion, in this situation, take the case of, to demonstrate, to illustrate, as an illustration, to illustrate

To Summarize or Conclude:

in brief, on the whole, summing up, to conclude, in conclusion, as I have shown, as I have said, hence, therefore, accordingly, thus, as a result, consequently, on the whole