The Bad Chef – A Food Network Nightmare

From The Associated Press – Susan Carter, an executive from the Food Network, was fired today over a haphazard decision to green light a new series featuring Chef Gross, the world’s most disgusting cook. According to an unnamed production assistant, Carter was faced with a dearth of new programs for the fall season so she had no choice but to go with the bad chef.  The cunning Chef Gross used a combination of charm and guile to convince Carter that his series Dine or Die would be a hit.

Gross owned a small franchise of fast food restaurants called Mystery Meals. However, the restaurants were all closed by the Health Department for numerous safety violations and concerns over capricious sanitary practices. Despite the controversy, Carter extolled the talents of the chef whose signature dish was a mixture of peanut butter, jelly and live ants, known as his infamous PBJ&A sandwich. Patrons were frequently hospitalized after consuming the sandwiches and doctors were puzzled by the cacophony of sounds coming from their stomachs.   

The Food Network’s ratings have been dormant and stagnant since another competitor, The Junk Food Channel, launched its network last month. Mr. French Fry, President of the Junk Food Channel, vowed to dismantle the Food Network by presenting decadent, self- indulgent programs including The Deep Fry Show, Eat Unhealthy and Who Cares About Calories?

Only five episodes of Dine or Die were filmed. The Food Network’s Programming Executives smelled a rat, literally, when popular host Bobby Flay discovered a rodent sampling one of his signature dishes in the studio next to Chef Gross’. With rat in hand, an angry Flay stormed onto the set of Dine or Die and asked Chef Gross, “What’s this!?!” The blithe Chef Gross casually responded, “I’m making rat smores.”

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